boring? not so..

nothing spexal naman..

haii..

walang mgawa..

pero aus lang..

wala asyment..

haha.. XD

bye..

gudnyt..

maxaia ktxt ko c idul.. :)

ayii.. joke.. haha..

because.of.you

the.day.u.said.goodnight

i.love.u

roma

12 ways to mend a broken heart

12 ways to mend a broken heart

Bess Myerson once wrote that "to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful," especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn't an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, "When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful." But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 12 techniques I've gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart and tried, ever so gradually, to move on.

1. Go through it, not around it.
I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack. But that is exactly what she must do. Because no shortcut is without its share of obstructions. Here's a simple fact: You have to grieve in order to move on. During the 18 months of my severe depression, my therapist repeated almost every visit: "Go through it. Not around it." Because if I went around some of the issues that were tearing me apart inside, then I would bump into them somewhere down the line, just like being caught in the center of a traffic circle. By going through the intense pain, I eventually surfaced as a stronger person ready to tackle problems head on. Soon the pain lost its stronghold over me.

2. Stand on your own.
One of the most liberating thoughts I repeat to myself when I'm immersed in grief and sadness is this: I don't need anyone or anything to make me happy. That job is all my own, with a little help from God. When I'm experiencing the intense pangs of grief, it is so difficult to trust that I can be whole without that person in my life. But I have learned over and over again that I can. I really can. It is my job to fill the emptiness, and I can do it ... creatively, and with the help of my higher power.

3. Detach.
Attempting to fill the void yourself--without rushing to a new relationship or trying desperately to win your lover back--is essentially what detaching is all about. The Buddha taught that attachment that leads to suffering. So the most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment. In his book, "Eastern Wisdom for Western Minds," Victor M. Parachin tells a wonderful story about an old gardener who sought advice from a monk. Writes Parachin:
"Great Monk, let me ask you: How can I attain liberation?" The Great Monk replied: "Who tied you up?" This old gardener answered: "Nobody tied me up." The Great Monk said: "Then why do you seek liberation?"

4. List your strengths.
As I wrote in my "12 Ways to Keep Going" post, a technique that helps me when I feel raw and defeated to try anymore is to list my strengths. I say to myself, "Self, you have been sober for 20 years!! Weaklings can't pull off that! And here you are, alive, after those 18 months of intense suicidal thoughts. Plus you haven't smoked a cigarette since that funeral back in December of last year!" I say all of that while listening to the "Rocky" soundtrack, and by the last line, I'm ready to tackle my next challenge: move on from this sadness and try to be a productive individual in this world. If you can't list your strengths, start a self-esteem file. Click here to learn how you build one.

5. Allow some fantasizing.
Grief wouldn't be the natural process that it should be without some yearning for the person you just lost. Dr. Christine Whelan, who writes the "Pure Sex, Pure Column" on BustedHalo.com, explains the logic of allowing a bit of fantasy. She writes:
If you are trying to banish a sexual fantasy from your head, telling yourself "I'm not going to fantasize about her" or "I won't think about what it would be like to be intimate with him" might make it worse: In a famous psychological study from the 1980s, a group of subjects were told to think about anything but whatever they did, they were not supposed to think about a white bear. Guess what they all thought about?

6. Help someone else.
When I'm in pain, the only guaranteed antidote to my suffering is to box up all of my feelings, sort them, and then try to find a use for them. That's why writing Beyond Blue contributes a big chunk to my recovery, why moderating Group Beyond Blue has me excited to wake up every day. When you turn your attention to another person--especially someone who is struggling with the same kind of pain--you forget about yourself for a split moment. And let's face it, that, on some days, feels like a miracle.

7. Laugh. And cry.
Laughter heals on many levels as I explain in my "9 Ways Humor Heals" post, and so does crying. You think it's just a coincidence that you always feel better after a good cry? Nope, there are many physiological reasons that contribute to the healing power of tears. Some of them have been documented by biochemist William Frey who has spent 15 years as head of a research team studying tears. Among their findings is that emotional tears (as compared to tears of irritation, like when you cut an onion) contain toxic biochemical byproducts, so that weeping removes these toxic substances and relieves emotional stress. So go grab a box of Kleenex and cry your afternoon away.

8. Make a good and bad list.
You need to know which activities will make you feel good, and which ones will make you want to toilet paper your ex-lover's home (or apartment). You won't really know which activity belongs on which list until you start trying things, but I suspect that things like checking out his wall on Facebook and seeing that he has just posted a photo of his gorgeous new girlfriend is not going to make you feel good, so put that on the "don't attempt" list, along with e-mails and phone calls to his buddies fishing for information about him. On the "feels peachy" list might be found such ventures as: deleting all of his e-mails and voicemails, pawning off the jewelry he gave you (using the cash for a much-needed massage?), laughing over coffee with a new friend who doesn't know him from Adam (to ensure his name won't come up).

9. Work it out.
Working out your grief quite literally--by running, swimming, walking, or kick-boxing--is going to give you immediate relief. On a physiological level--because exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinehrine and stimulates brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells--but also on an emotional level, because you are taking charge and becoming the master of your mind and body. Plus you can visualize the fellow who is responsible for your pain and you can kick him in the face. Now doesn't that feel good?

10. Create a new world.
This is especially important if your world has collided with his, meaning that mutual friends who have seen him in the last week feel the need to tell you about it. Create your own safe world--full of new friends who wouldn't recognize him in a crowd and don't know how to spell his name--where he is not allowed to drop by for a figurative or literal surprise visit. Take this opportunity to try something new--scuba diving lessons, an art class, a book club, a blog--so to program your mind and body to expect a fresh beginning ... without him.

11. Find hope.
There's a powerful quote in the movie "The Tale of Despereaux" that I've been thinking about ever since I heard it: "There is one emotion that is stronger than fear, and that is forgiveness." I suppose that's why, at my father's deathbed, the moment of reconciliation between us made me less scared to lose him. But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won't be with you forever, that one day you'll be excited to make coffee in the morning or go to a movie with friends. Hope is believing that the sadness can evaporate, that if you try like hell to move on with your life, your smile won't always be forced. Therefore in order to forgive and to move past fear, you need to find hope.

12. Love deeply. Again and again.
Once our hearts are bruised and burned from a relationship that ended, we have two options: we can close off pieces of our heart so that one day no one will be able to get inside. Or we can love again. Deeply, just as intensely as we did before. Henri Nouwen urges to love again because the heart only expands with the love we are able to pour forth. He writes:
The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper. When your love is truly giving and receiving, those whom you love will not leave your heart even when they depart from you. The pain of rejection, absence, and death can become fruitful. Yes, as you love deeply the ground of your heart will be broken more and more, but you will rejoice in the abundance of the fruit it will bear.

3 days :D

ayan tinamad.. haha.. ngaun lng ulit pipz..

kahapon, di ako nkpgblog tnamad ee.. haha.. pati nung monday,, nagblog ako peo lawentz.. haha.. anadeek e no.. gnyan tlga.. lakas tama ee..
monday,, hmm.. e2 nlang naaalala ko ee.. kila Chanty P. haha.. nung papunta kme.., LRT malamang tas baba ng libertad.. den jip.. haha.. sa LRT,, sabi ko kei uwizz walang hawak hawak.., eh mntik maout of balance,, haha.., napamura xa.. hehe.. lutong ee.. pero di sadya.. naman ooh.. kulit kse namen ee,, siksikan tas ang ingai namen.. bwahahahaha.. XD tas si lhyn naman mntk nrin maout of balance.. at ako rin.. ineepal kse ako ni lhyn ee,, ankulet.. antae ba.. :)) *peace tau my dearie babes..* tas edi nkila chanty na kme.. kame nga pla cla UWIX, LHYN my babes, KARLUU, CHANTY P. xempre, TOGE at AKO.. haha.. saya ko, pagdating ko dun nagcomp ako.. nagplurk! nagfs! nagym! haha.. sabay sabay.. bait ko.. nagpaalam naman ako noh.. tas pagdating ng mommy ni chanty xmpre naggreet ako at mommy nya pa naghatid sakin pauwi.. oh dba bongga? baet ng mommy nya.. tas ung daddy nya ung nagulit nung balcony na gnwa namen na parang nilaro ng bata.. hahaha.. XDD baet ng pamilya.. pero ung ate nyang isa,, kinda isnabera.. hehe.. pgod cguro.. or di nya kme trip.. haha.. edi hbng naggagawa kme dun nagkakantahan ung ibang di gmgwa kse mxdung msikip kse mlki ung pnpaintan na balcony.. :D tas kumanta ako ng "Because of You" ni kelly clarkson.. infairness 93.. haha.. tas nxt song ko aii.. uhh wait di ko maalala.. di ko tlga maalala.. pero kinanta ko rin ung IRIS,, 90 ako dun.. tas CRUISIN',, kami ni karluu.. 94 kme!! haha.. yess naman.. galing namen.. ai kapal?? haha.. joke lang naman kse eh.. haha.. uwiann na.. pero kumain nga pla kme sa knla ng pansit at ang favorite kong NUTELLA.. waaa. anxarap xarap.. pag mei nagbgay sken ng nutella with matching magic flakes or fita,., kami naaa!! haha.. joke.. bsta.. mxaia ako pag nabgyan ako ng ganun,, bka mahug ko pa ung nagbgay pag bnuksan ko un sa harap nya.. hehe.. adik eh..

anhaba naman yata nung nasulat ko sa monday ko.. jaja.. aus na yan..

tuesday.. la na ko maalala.. uh,,.. la na nga.. haha.. kung anu pa ung kahapon e noh.. haha.. adik tlga..

aun.. ung ngaun naman..science mei quiz.. survived ako.. aus naman. .tas HE LONG test,... 47/64 ako.. ambaba.. eww.. kapal ng mukha kong ipost e noh.. tas ComSci,, 28/32 ako.. ambaba ulit.. yaykzz.. kaderder noh? tas STA.. ito ang pinakaYUCK.. kse.... romeo and juliet na.. e2 na tlga.. ung suot ko.. ainaku.. ang ganda q daw, sexy tas parang aattend daw ako ng js tas bagay daw ung damit.. eweness.. dameng malabo mata.. woooh.. buti nkasurvive ako.. math wala lang.. haha.. gumawa ako ng on da spot na asyment sa english for 15 minutes.. essay un.. haha.. buti nakasulat ako, nasa mood eh.. and about love.. haha.. anchaka.. gnawa naman namen sa english,, nagsagot ng PTR.. inantok ako ng bonggang bongga.. ako 2loi ung 2nd to da last na ntpos.. haha.. baet tlga ni pau hnintay ako.. hehe.. uii.. mei sakit si pam.. sana gumaling na sya.. :( lunch.. haii.. la na ko maalala.. bsta kinain ko, minute maid at clover.. yeah! haha.. sa filipino,, tgal ni mam.. nagwala ako.. haha.. as in nagwala.. haha.. baliw eh.. tas nung dumating si mam,, kumaen ako.. hahaha.,. baet noh?! tas nagpaalam pang magcCR pero papaxerox pla ng asyment at bbili ng chupachups.. haha.. anloka.. esci.. wow. nagrecite ako isa.. hahaha.. XDD accomplishment peepz! music naman.. JOKETYM.. tawanan to da max ang group 4.. tas mya mya lumipat ako sa grup 3., tas sabi ni mam avellaneda [e nasa likod lang xa nmen (ng grup 4)], "group four are you listening?".. haha.. chamba nakalipat na ako.. tas aun,, balik ulit maya maya sa tamang upuan..
den uwian naaa.. nagmcdo kme nla lhyn,, take out.. tas sa school kme maen.. :"> anu ba yahn nkakaexcite magblog.. :)) ayiiiiii.. nakasalubong ko si kapatid ko pagpasok ba un o paglabas pgkakaen sa bordner.., bsta un.. xempre kiss kme ni kapatid.. tsk3! mali ung landing.. muntik na kme magsmck.. haha.. buti sa tabi lang.. hahaha.. anchaka aah.. nandun si elijah nuuuuuuuuu... tas nung pauwi na kme.. kiss ulit kme ni kapatid.. pero sabi ko muna "haha..yaku na bka sa iba ulit mapunta.. joke lang.. muwah!".. aun haha.. tas nandun ulit c elijah nun.. haha.. :"> tas sabi ng kptd ko sabi DAW ni elijah "ako din".. pero bulong lang nya kei kptid ko.. waaaa.. naaalala ko ung itsura nya nung pnpglan nya si gem magsabi at dndeny nyaaaa... wooot.. ang cuteeeeeee!!!!!!!! :">

so panu ba yan?? hanggang jan nlang muna.. inaantok na ko.. haha.. :D cnu ba talaga?? sya na nga kaya?? hahaha......... woooo! :">

im.so.inspired

how.do.i.love.thee

the.owl.and.the.pussycat

ROMEO.and.JULIET

R.and.RY

R.and.ET

roma.is.deadly

my day..

e2 lang naman kse pnakaimportanteng nanyare kanina..

lunch, 1-2.. well, lunch din ng marconi.. edi aun,, nkaupo kme sa 1st flr ng bordner sa tapat ng mapeh dept.. paglingon ko,,,,,,, si *TOOT!* pababa ng hagdan... oh diba.. my day is complete.. done na ang blog.. haha.. tamad eh..

blog.ng.tamad.

i.hearts.RY.

R.Y.

.Start the week right peeps!!.

.lets go to school early tomorrow.yeah.

.start the day with true smiles.

.be inspired.

.lalalalala.

.i think im falling in love with youuu!.

.my heart will fall when i will see you tomorrow.

.i.<3.ry?!.

.gudnyt pipz.

.iloveyou all.